Hi Mr. Blog, don't get too close since I have this awful cold.
So I'm thinking about divorce lately since I have two more friends getting a divorce. I hate that and it's not like I haven't thought about it myself hundreds of times. All women do. Men and women are so different that it is amazing our world got way too full.
There is an old saying, "Men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love." That is so true.
So many women think they can get their emotional needs met by a man. Well, when you get older you know that ain't gonna happen. EVER. Old girls know that you don't shop for handbags at Home Depot. The only place a woman will ever get her emotional needs met is with another woman. There are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule, but Bren and I talk on the phone every day. That is how we stay married. From my experience men require the following:
Food
Sex/Sleep depending on age ;)
Attention
Variety (This accounts for their addictions to TV, sports, booze, drugs, gambling etc..)
What makes it hard for men is that the variety issue is completely at odds with being married.
Any woman that wants a happy marriage better learn how to rotate those leftovers!
She also needs to have a closet full of different nightgowns since men are visual animals.
They want a tiger lady one night and nurse Ratchett the next. Sometimes they deserve a good spanking anyway. So no, Mr. Blog, I don't have all these things myself.
When Terry and I both worked at the post office in 1986 and '87 we had a stamp collecting club we were in. BPOPS. There is a brick in downtown Bothell on Main street. The Bothell Post Office Philatelic Society. Half our members were postal workers and half were retired men. One of our retired members was Art Kimball. He lived with Alice across from the Bothell funeral home in downtown Bothell. He was nearly blind so we drove him to the meetings. One night, coming back from Chet Nielson's, Terry asked him what he thought the secret to being married for sixty years was. Art loved to ride in my hot 1980 red and black Rally Sport Camaro with the Tee-tops. Anyway what Art told us was the secret to staying married sixty years was:
THE ABILITY TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY WHETHER YOU ARE RIGHT OR WRONG OR SORRY OR NOT SORRY.
Sometimes Terry and I hurt each other's feelings and we pout for a whopping hour but we are old and wise enough not to lose precious time together.
We have trained ourselves to say, "I'm Sorry." Then we kiss and make up because we know that no one is perfect and we will make mistakes occasionally.
So Mr. Blog, I feel really strongly about what I am going to tell you and it is not my idea. It came from some marriage counselor we went to in 1994 for we were going to get a divorce.
THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR KIDS IS TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE.
Most adults are way too busy to work out their problems with each other.
Most problems can be worked out except for infidelity, violence and addictions.
So just don't get married if you don't have the ability to say, "I'm sorry" no matter what.
Do everyone a favor if you are unwilling to compromise and STAY SINGLE.
There is no crime in understanding yourself and making it clear to others that you know what you are and what you want. Just don't fool yourself and someone else and crank out a few kids and realize that, "Oh, my husband treats me like a doormat." Men WILL NEVER FULFILL ALL YOUR NEEDS FOR EMOTIONAL FEEDBACK!
And don't say, "My wife spends too much!" WOMEN WILL SPEND TO FILL THE EMOTIONAL HOLE SO TURN OFF THE TV AND LOOK IN HER EYES AND SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HER! I think even five minutes a day would prevent most divorces.
Or you can get divorced and screw up your kids like most pigheaded people.
IF YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION, DON'T GET MARRIED.
There are plenty of people without addictions that want families.
Thanks Mr. Blog. You rule. I have been wanting to talk about this for a long time.
Getting all these problems and concerns off my chest makes me feel so much better.
I have been so depressed since the funeral and I need to process so many things on my mind.
It is hard to be a woman business owner when you are incapacitated by overanalysis or illness or both. I need to get over this cold pronto!
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