*Bounces in smiling and lies down*
Good Morning Mr. Blog! How are you today?
*Looks at him and admires his scholarly-lookingness for a Saturday morning*
Oh my goodness! I read the best book last night/this morning.
I read it near cover to cover and finished it when I woke up.
It is called, THE NUMBER. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY and
it was so crisp and interesting.
Like a bird that only sits still for a minute
and you'd better take a good look and admire
it before it take off.
I did not like the cover picture and thought a story set in Africa
would be too culturally different for me to enjoy,
but guess what?!
I WANT TO GO TO BOTSWANA!
I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED THIS BOOK,
and of course now I want to have tea with Alexander McCall Smith.
AND he lives in Scotland like JK Rowling AND Maeve Binchy!
How odd three of my favorite authors live in Scotland.
So anyway, back to the book.
First of all, the author being a man but being so realistic
about how women think of men was surprising.
The frank opinions of the protagonist, Precious, and her father
were so amazing. How women love forever
and faithfully and sometimes blindly.
I LOVED finding out all about Botswana and then I went to my
world map on the dining room wall and I found it is right
on the border of South Africa.
One of my favorite parts of the story was finding out
all about the South African diamond mines.
I had been curious about those workers
since 1966, when Mrs. Bach would pull down that giant
wound-up map in my 4Th grade classroom at Bryant Elementary.
She would let us come up and look at it and my first two picks of places I wanted to go were:
1. Africa 2. Australia
So when I was a flight attendant for Continental I was darn thrilled
to work the flights to Australia, New Zealand, Tahiti and The Philippines.
It has killed me that there has been poverty and violence in Africa
because I don't know if my number one place of interest
for four decades is safe to investigate. I hate that.
But, back to the book. I like a crisp story
without a bunch of messy descriptions.
So obviously I am keen to zip down to Third Place Books
and buy..THE REST OF THE SERIES!
There is NOTHING I like better than books that are series.
I want a smart protagonist, clever plot twists and
staying with them for months or years.
I have read the Harry Potter series nearly six times.
The characters are like dependable friends
that will be there at the end of the day.
Not rude people that text or talk on cell phones when they visit you
or show up with a Starbucks cup in their hand that is not for you.
Dependable friends that you enjoy that send you to sleep
with awesome adventures in Botswana and England.
So, I don't have any money for more Alexander McCall Smith books
Mr. Blog. I haven't gotten any substitute teaching deposits
and we ran out of money after paying the bills Monday.
I was darn lucky to find this book on a teacher staff-room shelf.
I will return it this week when I sub at that school again.
I don't believe in stealing.
If I accidentally bring home paper-clips or post it notes
I return them to that classroom when I am at that school.
Did you know that Vlad the Impaler would skin the feet
of thieves and pour salt on them and then have goats lick them off?
*Tries not to think of other things he did without success* Ugh.
So, it will kill me to wait until this Friday to go to Third Place Books
to buy TEARS OF THE GIRAFFE
MORALITY FOR BEAUTIFUL GIRLS &
THE KALAHARI TYPING SCHOOL FOR MEN.
I hate it that Gin Latin hasn't gone global yet
and I can't buy books! GRRRRR!
I hate it that I can't hop on a plane to Botswana and Scotland.
So, on to my odd dream that you'll have a field day with:
I dreamed I was artificially inseminated with clone embryos of Harry Potter and Earl and Joy Hickey and was happily picking out names for my thirteen babies.
I was on a houseboat that was moored at Ray's Boathouse in Ballard.
I was thinking about my daughters and how they would
have long hair that I could brush and braid.
Next I was deciding on friends and relatives that didn't have
children that I could name my babies after.
My sister Pam and JoAnn and Brenda.
Then I had to stand in line at the Woodstock tent to pay a fine for violating the new vow-law of Zero Population Growth.
And right when I was going to finish up seven names for my girls
I was rudely woken up by my caveman of a husband
that couldn't close a door or cupboard gently if his life depended on it!
Weird, huh, Mr. Blog?
I know. And I know where some of the weird stuff came from.
I want to end global overpopulation more than anything
and I'm always wondering how free birth control could be provided globally.
I usually read my Harry Potter books from one to two
hours every night before I go to sleep.
Last week my baby Teddy, had his first pimple
and I knew that my babies were not babies any more.
And I started craving babies!
I'm obsessed with the television show
MY NAME IS EARL. I found it in reruns about six months ago.
I HATE LAW AND MEDICAL SHOWS
since they have been produced to death
every since Dr. Kildare was a hit
with that handsome Richard Chamberlain in 1961.
I mean, what, only doctors, lawyers and police are interesting?
Okay, I do watch those shows occasionally.
But seriously, with the brain-power in Hollywood
they removed MY FAVORITE SHOW?!
Because as Brenny always says,
"It's all about me."
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