*Walks in and lies down on couch*
Well Mr. Blog,
I'm starting to perk up.
I don't ache all over anymore. Just stuffed up.
So I have been thinking all week about which is worse:
Jobitis or joblessitis?
When you have jobitis, you hate the job you have.
When you have joblessitis, you hate not having a job.
When I carried mail for the post office I had jobitis in a bad way.
I loved the actual work of carrying mail but I
hate, hate, hated getting up at five AM
to hit the time clock at six AM.
People would try to talk to me in the time clock line
and the best I could do was a soft grunt of hello.
Scott Erwin always called me Grouchen.
Most of my coworkers there were nice but the managers were awful.
The price of stamps could go down to a dime if they
removed the managers.
I was so close to going postal after a decade
of harassment you wouldn't believe it!
Every clerk and carrier at the post office
knows exactly what to do.
The mail comes in
the mail goes out.
They need to remove all the managers and save billions!
But anyway, I loved my route in Holly Hills and all my customers.
I always stood the mail up at an angle at the
FRONT of the mailbox so my customers
didn't have to brave the spiderwebs
to pull it out from the back.
Most men carriers are too lazy to do that.
They have long arms and just want the cash.
They just fling it in the box and drag-race on.
They don't even HAVE the empathy to know that the little
old ladies can barely reach to the back of the mailbox!
JoAnn and I were the fastest casers in the office
but it didn't matter because I talked too much.
I was always in the back office getting
scolded for talking too much.
Turns out men can't sort mail
and talk at the same time.
So they harrassed me half to death!
Well, when I was a flight attendant I
loved, loved, LOVED, serving people.
After a decade of listening to people whine
about their bills and junk mail
it was pretty darn heavenly
giving people drinks and snacks and food.
They loved that.
A few times I'd be with crews that liked to do
plane wide trivia games.
God that was fun!
We'd give out bottles of wine from first class
to the winners.
So, you know how bad I have joblessitis.
I was just used to feeling
like a productive member of society.
You know, I'm probably the only person in America
that LIKES to pay taxes.
I love America.
I love my freedom.
I love our roads and sewers and clean water.
I can go, right now, to my kitchen
and turn the spigot and get clean water!
How cool is that Mr. Blog?!
BUT, I don't like overpaying taxes and I
CAN'T STAND GOVERNMENT WASTE!
Like this new Kenmore Square plan.
The city could easily manage the retailers
and keep the leases down.
My friend, John the Jeweler, at
the Treasure Box told me last week
that the leases will go up when the remodel is
done and he'll have to leave!
I'm so hopping mad over that I could spit.
I would so grab a bunch of Z-Bricks
at Home Depot and spruce up those buildings
to match the new fancy-pants city hall myself
for free! I'd hire all the local
out of work contractors to toss up that Z-Brick
lickety-split and
save the taxpayers of Kenmore millions in taxes.
Well, Mr. Blog, what do you think is worse?
Having a job you hate or not having any job?
*Stares at him expectantly*
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