1/22/2011 Difficult Lima Bean and Ham Hock Soup

Hi Mr. Blog,
Well here's a recipe that will confound your wife.
I'm calling it Difficult Lima Bean and Ham Hock Soup
and I'll read it to you:
1 Go to Safeway and stare and the ten kinds of
dry beans in total confusion
2 Notice that large Lima beans are the only beans
NOT on sale
3 Go home and find what's left of your ham hock
from your split pea soup adventure and examine it
for meat
4 Remove your federal taxes receipts from your Tupperware
bowl and rinse it out for your Lima beans
5 Cover with lots of water and go to bed
6 Get up way too early for Toady's basketball game
and boil the tar out of your ham hock
7 Flip in into a giant strainer in the sink
8 Frantically scrub the burnt spot from the ham hock pan
while Teddy paces around the kitchen telling your to hurry up
9 Fling the Lima beans into the pot and hope you got all the SOS pad
residuals out of it or that no one can taste it if you didn't
10 Put the beans on low heat and run to the mini-van
11 Watch with great pride as your mini-me plays basketball
12 Think about how it seems like a minute ago that the team
was in third grade and how proud you are to know them
13 Enjoy socializing with the parents and think how
lucky you are to know such nice people
14 Try to be quiet driving home because Toady's team lost
and he is sad
15 Analyze how men take sports so personally and wonder why that is
16 Get home and try to hurry the Limas only to have it boil over
so you have to spend a half hour cleaning the mess
17 Feel thankful for having chronic sinusitis since you
manage to burn everything under the sun and your kitchen stinks
18 Pick the meat of the ham hock and toss it in soup add salt and pepper
19 Bring soup to a boil stirring and staring at it carefully
20 Lower the heat and take a nap so you're ready
to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks with sissy later
and have some difficult Lima Bean Soup