10/30/09 Lloyd Swena's Funeral in Heber City Utah

*Walks in and crosses to Mr. Blog's desk and picks up box of Kleenex before lying down*
Hi Mr. Blog. Do you think you can do me a favor? This is a very long, sad story and I'd like you to lay on the couch across from me. That way if you doze off I won't feel guilty about putting you to sleep. Thanks. *Waits for Mr. Blog to lie down and then starts*
So a week ago today, Friday, I saw my friend Lloyd again. Only he wasn't alive anymore. He was laying in the most beautiful casket I have ever seen in my life. He was as handsome and well-groomed as the last time I saw him. Only he wouldn't open his eyes. I wanted to shout at him, "Lloyd! Wake up!" I wanted it to be a bad dream so bad. I kept waiting to wake up. I knew it must be a nightmare and his eyes would pop open and he'd shout, "Just kidding!"
But he didn't wake up. He wasn't asleep Mr. Blog.
It started last Wednesday with a evening phone call from Danny. I was so excited that I started jumping up and down in my kitchen and hollering, "Danny! Danny! How are you?! Tell me, tell me everything!"
But he was silent for a minute. Then he said, "Gretchen, this isn't good news. Mitch asked me to call you. Lloyd died Saturday from liver cancer. He got it the end of August and went really fast and it was unexpected. The funeral is in Heber City Utah on Saturday."
Oh Mr. Blog. It was the last thing I expected. We were all going to get old together. I was going to fly to Houston and party with Mitch and Lloyd and our old pals one of these days.
So I crawled in bed Wednesday night and tried to decide what to do.
Connie and I had the big DECA conference that we needed to get ready for the 27Th but I kept thinking about Lloyd in training and how he'd show us pictures of two little blond kids all the time and go on and on about Nathan and Amber. I wanted to meet them. His legacy.
So I woke up Thursday morning and knew I had to go.
I had never heard of Heber City Utah but I knew to be at a Saturday morning funeral that I'd better make my way down there Friday.
I got up Friday morning after the Ts left for work and school and checked my list.
I had a bad start. The pants I bought for the trip at St. Vinny's were too small.
I found my work slacks and told myself to stay calm and walked to the bus stop in the rain.
The new-fangled buses have a fancy upper level in the back but I hadn't been on one in four years since we took our cub scouts to Bremerton to tour the Turner Joy battleship.
I sat in the back, up high and looked at my beloved Kenmore pass by me.
I enjoyed the fall colors and caught a glimpse of University mobile home park where
Brenda lived in the mid-1980s.
The bus left me off downtown in front of a hat shop.
It was so appealing that I went in and was astounded and asked for a business card.
I found the fancy new bus tunnel and offered my umbrella to a friendly-looking black lady going the other way up the long walking tunnel from the bus tunnel. That tunnel had great acoustics and we echoed salutations until our voices disappeared.
I had missed my connecting bus looking at hats and sat to wait.
A young black man in a tattered wedding dress came in and asked it I liked his dress.
I motioned the spot next to me on the bench and told him I liked it and his toe nail polish.
My new bus was crowded and I sat up front trying to be quiet like everyone else.
I asked the young man next to me if he knew when the new train would start to the airport.
He said in a thick East European accent, "This is the train."
I didn't have the heart to tell him this was the bus, not the train, so I just smiled and nodded.
I got off at Sea Tac and made my way to security and out to the south underground train.
I felt lonely so on the escalator down I said, "Hello" to the friendly-looking Chinese man behind me. He told me he was going to Hong Kong to buy books about a 3,500 language that was written on the back of pieces of sea turtle shells. We talked on the train and he told me his name was Ping and he lived near Sand Point and worked for the Seattle Asia museum. I told him I wished I could go to Hong Kong with him because I have always wanted to go there but I had to go to a funeral in Utah. Then he gave me a tiny green laminated card with a character of the 3,500 year old language. It said, "Nee ahh" and he told me it was two words. Either powerful man for a man or beautiful woman for a woman. I tucked that card in the pocket of my fancy gray funeral jacket that Patty gave me and I was rubbing it for good luck all week-end.
I wanted badly to have a beautiful woman soul to give comfort and support all week-end.
Ping and I got to the top of the escalator to the south satellite building and shook hands.
I found my gate and then walked around. A nice man was giving away cute teddy bears dressed in aviator goggles and bomber jackets with tiny Delta scarves for filling out charge card applications. I was lonely and sad and he made me feel so much better. He showed me the picture of his daughter going to nursing school and she was so pretty! I showed him my brand new school pictures of Troy and Teddy and was surprised Troy had turned into a man.
After buying overpriced bottled water from a tap of the SeaTac basement, I sat to wait.
A huge man named Richard sat next to me and he was going to Tel Aviv Israel for a geologist water meeting with his global dam pals. I told him I wished I go to Tel Aviv. They were going to talk about an ancient flood there and I asked him about that highway 410 landslide.
I told him when I worked for the City of Seattle Engineering street maintenance department I used to have to uncover storm drains on Greek Row. The coldest job I ever had was crawling under cars with my rake in the rain to pull out the soggy leaves in November in the rain on Greek Row.
He told me his storm drain filled up in Edmonds and killed his wife's new car one time.
When I got on my plane I was happy to be in First Class. I used up all the miles I was saving to visit the BSA jamboree and go to Harry Potterland with my friend April this summer to go.
My seat partner Scott was a wholesale rep for Michelin and his territory covered five states but he got to go home for week-ends to Utah with his family so I was happy for him.
All I got on the flight was a sack of chips and some drinks. I was stunned because when I used to work two hours flights for Continental I would have served a hot dish up in First Class.
I found my way to the baggage claim area and Kevin, with Aspen Transportation, was right there with his Chevy SUV. His wife Chris had run my charge card through the day before and I was amazed by the beauty of Utah as we drag-raced up highway 40 past Park City. He pointed out the Olympic ski runs and toboggan course and I was excited 'cause I'd seen it on TV.
When I got to Heber City I thought it was the prettiest city I'd ever seen.
They have a great street maintenance department, which was obvious by the well-maintained streets and sidewalks and their spotless condition.
Kevin dropped me off at the Swiss Alps motel and Max got me all checked in and gave me a coupon worth $5.00 at the Dairy Keen that he owns next door. Max is a retired teacher and told me all about Lloyd's grandparents and his dad and uncles that went to school there. One of Lloyd's uncles had been nominated for All State football when he was young.
The motel was adorable and spotless and I want to go back for something called the
Cowboy's Poetry contest every November when Nixpix gets going.
The only thing cuter than the motel was the Dairy Keen. It had trains inside and out and Halloween decorations everywhere. I had a train dinner meal and it was awesome!
The nice man in line with me sat nearby and told me all about teaching at the local high school and I was so happy to hear about the field trip he had led one time to see dinosaur fossils.
I cleaned up and started the longest walk I ever took in my entire life.
I looked at Heber in such great detail that it was dark when I arrived at Olpin's Funeral home.
I found my way inside and spotted his mom right away surrounded by her relatives.
The injustice of a parent losing a child drowned me.
I couldn't stand it.
Verna Kaye goes by Kaye and I made myself walk to her area.
The person next to her welcomed me and introduced herself and everyone and I introduced myself to all of them. When I shook Kaye's hand I was so overwhelmed I thought my knees would buckle. Not only did I grieve for her but I missed my mom. She was the exact same
size and age and coloring of my mom and I wanted her to be my mom.
Kaye is the most gracious person I have ever met in my entire life.
I visited with them and they introduced me around to all the friends and relatives. I sat down with some airline friends of Lloyd's for a while and then went in.
The viewing room was empty.
His hand was cold and smooth and I lingered there.
I took in all the details of the beauty and grace of Lloyd.
I told myself he was sleeping.
I told myself I was sleeping.
We would both wake up any minute and he would say,
"Gret-chen! Girlfriend what are you doing?!"
He didn't wake up.
I made my way back out and sat with the airline friends of Lloyd's again.
His best friend and Buddy-Bidder Nicole took me around to meet people that had just come in.
I sat on the empty love seat next to his brother Billy.
He told me all about their trip to Alaska in July.
I love Billy. He was so kind to me and it was soul-quenching to look in his piercing blue eyes.
Swena eyes. Eyes that even in the depths of sorry twinkled in spite of themselves.
Billy had lost his wife and their dad and had other tragedies in the last few years,
yet he took the time to share all his stories with me.
It was nine when I left to walk home and I needed a drink.
I don't drink much or often for a good reason.
I found the gas station mini-mart a block down from the funeral home and walked straight to the beer case. I asked if I could split a six pack for a small Coor's Light cans and the young man said that I had to buy a single. They were as tall as the floor to my knees but I ponied up anyway.
I opened it and talked to the clerk for a half hour. He didn't know Lloyd but went to school with his ex-wife and knew some of his relatives. He was very soothing.
It was bitter cold when I got out on the sidewalk and I sat on an attractive wrought iron bench.
I watched the cars drive by and finished my cowboy beer. I sloshed back to room 34.
I had bad dreams all night and woke up thinking about Nichole.
She was Lloyd's Buddy Bidder and best friend for four years.
I thought about my Buddy Bidder Theresa and how we'd carpooled to SeaTac and flown
to Denver to work together for over eight years. Four day trips wherever we wanted to go.
Working on our tans in Miami, shopping in New York, taking MY mom to London.
I had an extra sympathy card and I filled it in slowly for Nichole through a flood of tears.
I woke up at seven and went out and took pictures of the picturesque town.
I got ready and showered and noticed my hair was stiff. I put on my glasses and realized I
had used hand lotion instead of conditioner. Bleh.
I carpooled up to the funeral home with Sue and her sister.
I spied Danny on the porch and wanted to run to him.
He was the only other person from class 8709 that made it to Heber City.
I met his partner and stuck to them all day.
Lloyd's brother Mark led the service and we went to the viewing room for the family prayer.
Lloyd's daughter Amber led it and it was beautiful. I lined up for the final goodbyes.
I said goodbye to Lloyd and kissed his temple.
After the opening of the service Amber went first.
Her beauty is only challenged by her graciousness.
She said Lloyd lived on inside each of us through his love for us.
Then I saw her. Lloyd's grand daughter Katiana.
Danny whispered to me that she was Lloyd's mini-girl.
She looked like Lloyd had climbed in a time machine and come out as a tiny little girl.
Traci and I were crying uncontrollably the entire service, especially when Katiana toddled by.
All the stories were wonderful.
Mark told of his older brothers Lloyd and Billy hogtying him as a little kid to prevent him from tagging along telling him when he freed himself he could join them. If he did get himself free they said they needed to start the game over because they hadn't done a good enough job.
His cousin Craig told of a fishing trip with his dad that went wrong.
When left at the campsite alone, Lloyd told his seven year old cousin that his dad always poured gas on the fire. Eight year old Lloyd took the full five gallon can and started pouring.
All Craig remembered was the fireball shooting up in the air and laughing all the way home as they admired their black faces and eyebrowless, eyelashless faces.
There were dozens of stories that touched my heart so deeply
that I began to fear I would never stop crying.
Danny and Tommy and I followed the hearse to the graveyard and saw the snow covered mountains in the background above the golden aspen trees lining the valley.
It was a gloriously sunny day and we gathered as Lloyd's Uncle Gene blessed the grave.
At the following luncheon, God blessed me to sit across from Mitch.
He was so surprised to see me and said the last time he saw me was in the Denver
crew room in 1993. I had commuted in that afternoon and slept all day and he said Lloyd said,
"My God Gretchen! Look at your hair! Did you get dragged under a car?!"
Well I knew what reminded him of that when I went to the powder room and saw
the hand lotion I'd used on my hair made it stand on end like boar bristles.
We had a lovely lunch and I was so honored to get to sit next to Amber and Matt and hold
Lloyd's mini-girl Katiana. Mitch's mom and sister-in-law and her daughter were with us and they were so delightful. Danny and Mitch had known each other as kids in New Iberia Louisiana and Danny was working as a prison guard when he got hired by Continental.
Tommy drove us to Lloyd's ex-wife Sharon's house up in Orem through the most beautiful valley I have ever seen. The gullies were filled with golden aspens and I enjoyed hearing all of Danny's stories of his life the last two decades.
At Sharon's house everyone was having a little wine so I had a quarter glass to toast Lloyd.
I called my mom's best friend Raylene and she said she'd pick me up soon.
When she was there in five minutes I didn't expect it
and I had to just jump up and say, "Goodbye" and scram out of there.
Raylene looked exactly like she did when I met her in 1975 except older.
She took me home and I loved being with her and Chuck and their son Nolan and their
Japanese exchange student Junki. They made a huge spaghetti dinner and her friends
Julinna and Richard came with their daughter Marissa and Japanese exchange student
Neeshinee. We had a bit of wine and lots of good stories. I thought I was ought
of tears but they would sneak in once in awhile.
The next morning I came downstairs and looked at Raylene and laughed and laughed.
I had never seen anyone wear flannel jammies with a nightshirt untucked like I did.
We went to Julianna's for brunch and then Raylene dropped me off at the airport.
She is like the most awesome person I ever met.
I saw an earlier flight and jumped on it and was sad to leave Raylene to go home.
*Looks over at Mr. Blog softly snoring and gets up and gently covers him with a wool throw and softly walks out the door*

10/20/09 Nixpix Update

*Walks in and lies down* Look at all this gray hair Mr. Blog!
Troy just drove me to Radio Shack and back.
I hope I survive teaching him to drive.
Yikes.
So I picked up Connie after work and we went up to Steve's.
She is the most amazing proofreader in history!
We went through PTT version two with a flea comb.
Connie is the best business partner in the world.
I hope she never bails out on me!
I called Jeff at Allegra printing when I got back and gave him an update.
Then I called Jody at J&J designs and chatted about mock-ups. I trust him.
I got home and Angela dropped in and we went across the street for coffee.
I love my new Starbucks and my new crosswalk in front of my house directly to my Starbucks.
Angela is such a delightful person.
Teddy and I just watched our favorite TV show called,
"My name is Earl."
It is the best show since, "The X-Files."

10/19/09 Lloyd Swena , Troy Drove

*Walks in and lies down* I still feel a little icky
and one of my best friends from Continental in-flight training
died a few days ago from liver cancer.
Lloyd Swena was one of the most
positive people I have ever met
in my whole life. I just loved him.
My heart is all crumbly still.
When I was in flight training and living at the Houston Intercontinental Airport Sheraton hotel
he and Tony were in the room next to us.
Every single night at ten they would pound on the wall and yell,
"Goodnight Gretchen! Goodnight Heather!"
We'd do the same and laugh and laugh.
He and Tony and Danny were always pranking all of us.
One time they snuck into an empty classroom at night and our entire
class of fifty came down and had a pajama party!
We had popcorn and soda and they played the movie "Airplane."
Every time the star came out, that brunette actress, they would all yell,
"Gret-chen! Gret-chen!" We laughed so hard.
I was twenty-nine when I got hired which is really old for a new hire
flight attendant. I was very serious in training and never horsed around.
After carrying mail ten years, flying was a dream come true and
I wasn't about to screw it up!
Lloyd would tease me mercilessly all the time
to try to get me to lighten up.
He always made me laugh even
when I tried so hard not to.
The last time I saw him was in 1993 when our old class
was almost all working an airbus from Denver to Chicago.
We had a strong tail wind and got there with a full boat of 340 pax
in 1:50!!! I was working main galley and we barely got
our hot meal served and picked up and no one had time to give me
their liquor money until we landed! I just shoved all of it in my apron
and we all went to the hotel.
I was in my room in my ratty, "Marry Me and Fly Free" tee shirt
and I had $500.00 in cash all over my bed in
neat piles while I filled out my liquor forms.
I had to fill the scan-tron sheet to match the
cash exactly and I was pulling figures out of a hat to match
up the minis, beer and wine amounts.
There was a pounding on the door and I cracked
it open and Lloyd, Tony, Michael, Jan, Theresa, Barbara,
and Danny all burst in and started jumping up and down on
my bed!
The money and change was flying
all around the room and they were chanting,
Gret-chen! Gret-chen! Gret-chen!
I was hollering at them, worried I'd get fired if anyone told on me.
I gave up and threw on my clothes and went out with them
and turned in the money at the airport
the next morning
with my fingers crossed.
Lloyd and I would call each other every six months or so
to stay caught up and now
I will never hear his voice again.
I forgot to tell you that Troy drove down the street and back on Sunday.
It was terrifying and look at this: *Shows head with white hair still standing on end*

10/17/09 The Good Listener

*Walks in gingerly and lies down* Hi Mr. Blog. I'm not feeling too good. Sore throat, headache and body aches. I'm going back to bed when I get home.
So yesterday I went to Steve's to proof the new edition of our game.
I love, love, love it. He is the best graphic designer in the world.
The bigger size with the larger font will make adults so happy.
Sometimes adults have to retake the test themselves.
If they forget to renew their license on time or get a DUI.
But mostly some people like people. Not TV people.
Real people that they can see and touch and laugh with.
That's what the game is about. Socializing.
Sure it is educational and blah, blah, blah.
But with this nasty weather it might be handy to own a new game.
Call a pal and say, "I got this new game. Want to try it?"
I forgot to tell you about last week-end.
Terry and I went to Patty's for dinner and had salmon and salad and loads of other stuff
and cherry pie for dessert. Riel was there and we just laughed and laughed.
We watched the DAWGS play football and every time they showed the stands
we looked for our friend Marcia and yelled, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"
Riel started it but it got funnier and funnier cause all they showed
were the cute young blond girls every single time.
We had a theory that the cameraman was a twenty-five year old single guy.
So I got 200 out of 1,000 of my new business cards attached to magnets.
Then Wednesday I needed to be a good listener.
Brenda and Connie both had problems to process.
I just shut my mind to my world,
sealed my lips,
and opened my ears.
I know I didn't get much work done on the business that day but you know what?
People are more important to me than money.

10/12/09 Hoping For a Miracle Sub Job

*Walks in with hopeful look and lies down* Hi Mr. Blog, you won't believe what was
posted on the Shoreline school district website yesterday. A long term substitute job in fourth grade, which happens to be my VERY FAVORITE GRADE. I love Washington state history.
I'm not even getting my hopes up this time. There is always someone better.
So I'll turn it over to God.
It starts now and goes until March would be enough income to pay off our business loan and cover the costs of Pass The Test, USA!!!
So Connie and I did the final edits for the bigger Pass The Test for families today.
I feel like I'm playing Beat The Clock against the October 27th DECA convention.
I'm praying very hard since there will be 1,400 people to talk to there including the
100 DECA teachers that could pick my game for their classes to market.
So can we get the edits, mock-ups, and printing done that fast???
I do believe in miracles.

10/9/09 Great Bid From Allegra Printing

*Walks in with a bounce in her step and lies down* Did you notice how cold out it is getting now Mr. Blog? Brrr. There was frost on sissy's roof morning before last. She lives next door in our mother-in-law apartment.
So I had GREAT news yesterday mr. Blog. I got home from subbing at Brookside, my favorite school, and I had an e-mail from Jeff at Allegra printing up in Bothell.
He did the bid including most of the assembly and it was fantastic.
This game is the world's hardest game to assemble because
it has two boards glued together.
Every time I make one I get covered head to toe with glue and stuff sticks to me all day.
Connie can do it neatly. She is a marvel of coordination!
The smallest bid is for 500 games and I really want 1,000
but we won't be able to borrow that much.
This next edition has large print fonts so grown ups can play without glasses.
I can't wait to bring one in to show you!
16"x22" in full color laminated top.
The colors are so vibrant they jump off the page!
So sissy changed her mind about wanting one of my kidneys.
She said she did not want to feel "indebted" to me.
I'm sad 'cause she'll live ten to fifteen years less
with a cadaver kidney.
Oh well. Just cause I'm crazy about life doesn't mean she is.
Our real dad, James Frederick Lehde, asked me to donate one to her before he died.
I told him of course I would when the time came.
Not to worry, not to worry.
I love my sister.

10/5/09 My Kids Hate Me

*Walks in and lies down and stares at the ceiling*
Parenthood is so confusing. I feel like a prison guard half the time and I hate it.
I told the kids not to bring home those violent shooting games for their machines.
I told them a thousand times
that if they kept it up the machines would disappear.
So today I removed the machines. No more X-Box or Playstation.
My kids hate me.
They can have them back when they move out.
Those games are evil and creating a generation of violent killers.
I just can't run my business when I'm worrying
about the kids getting brainwashed
into being killers.
I love my kids.

10/3/09 Trying Not To Panic

*Walks in dazed looking and sits in the chair fidgeting*
Oh, Mr. Blog. I dropped off the other sample for bid at Print Fusion after Allegra Printers.
Minimum to get a good print price is 1,000 games so now I think I'm in big trouble.
I'll need between eight and nine thousand dollars and have NO IDEA how I can
borrow that much! I feel sick to my stomach I'm so worried.
I went and had coffee with Patty and she said not to borrow on
our home equity loan without telling Terry. But he'll say no
so I am a total wreck today.
Will I ever get this business off the ground?!

10/1/09 Need Fun?

*Drags in with hangdog expression and flops down*
Oh Mr. Blog, the new bid I got from Allegra printer in Bothell is too high.
Unless we print thousands. I'm so sad. I can't get a business loan because I don't know if I will every sell enough games to be successful and repay a business loan.
Bleh.
At least I came up with the Nixpix tagline, "Need Fun?" Do you like it?
I think having fun is as important as breathing but then I'm a bit of a freak.
I'm going to go make blackberry jelly for my friend Art now.
When I moved to Kenmore in 1990 from Bothell, I wanted a local car repair shop and I
could walk to Northshore Garage so I started going there.
I had this really hot 1980 red and black Rally Sport Camaro with tee-tops.
I loved that car!
So Art has always been so kind to me
and I think some blackberry jelly
would brighten his day.
That is my goal in life.
To make everyone's day a little brighter.