9/1/2011 The First Day of School for Troy and Teddy

Hi Mr. Blog,
Everyone got up and out for the first day of school.
I still can't believe Troy is a senior in high school.
Seems like I just cranked him out a minute ago!
And Teddy.
Oh my God that little rascal towers over me
at six feet tall.
He is in ninth grade at Kenmore Junior High
but they moved the foreign language program
to the high school so they go up there for
their first period classes and then bussed down
to the junior high.
Probably fun for the kids.
Sound tiring to me!
So, Troy DROVE his baby brother to school!
That cutes me out something fierce
to have them driving to school together.
Seems like two seconds ago they were in
kindergarten and second grade
standing on our front porch for their
first day of school pictures.
They were so tiny that our 7801 house number was
a foot over their dear little heads.
Now it is at their waist level.
Funny funny as Brenda would say.
I haven't seen Troy yet to find out if he
likes his schedule for his last year
at high school.
I just hope he has all the required classes taken.
When I picked up Teddy to drive the football pool
from Kenmore Junior High the parking lot scene
was a big fiasco.
More construction up there as usual.
He was busy putting his pads in his football pants
and didn't want to talk about
his first day of school anyway.
It was one of those end of summer sunny days
with the nip skippy air that makes you
see your breath.
Michelle Moyes came out for lunch and said
it was down to forty-seven degrees this morning.
Brrr.
So, Troy is finishing high school this year.
And on to bigger and better things.
Hopefully including moving out
since he is so darn contrary.
Little rascal was born
marching to the beat of his own drummer
that's for sure!

8/31/2011 The Little Girl That Got Locked Out

Hi Mr. Blog,
The black hole of jobless depression
has swallowed me whole.
So, I'm thinking about a little girl
that I ran into at the football luau.
Only she is not so little anymore.
Almost tall as me.
They moved away last year to
a different part of Kenmore.
So, how do I know her?
She is the little sister of a football player
that Teddy is playing football with.
For five years,
when she got locked out,
she came to my house.
She knew me because I had been
her substitute teacher.
She was just a little scrap of a thing
the first time she got locked out.
Thin little blond with
a frightened look on her face
with no where to go.
I called her mom and told her where she was.
Single working mom, like what I had.
Then I gave her a snack
and had her get out her
homework
and sit at my dining room table
and tell me whatever was
on her little mind.
I pretended she was my daughter
because you know what Mr. Blog?
Little girls ARE sugar and spice
and everything nice.
So, after she finished her homework
we'd sit on the couch and watch TV.
Those young people shows
like "The Suite Life of Josh and Zack"
or "Hannah Montana."
Then around six her mom would get home
and she'd go home.

8/27/2011 The Inglemoor High School Football Team Luau

Hi Mr. Blog,
Boy am I tired.
Big day yesterday.
First I face painted for the delightful
Stacy Denuski at Kenmore Fun Day
and then I worked the Luau up at the high school.
I love being a follower and not a leader sometimes!
Working at the Inglemoor High School Luau last night was so fun!
I mostly made punch by the vat with a 3' wire whip.
I can't believe Dianna Tupou and Traci Edlin MADE food for 650 people!
They are like the dynamic duo of Kenmore for sure!
They even trained some of the football players to dance the hula.
Teddy nearly had eye-strain seeing the hula dancing IHS cheerleaders.
The football players had to serve the food and they kept coming to the kitchen for carts of food to serve. Turns out lots of the juniors were in Jake Comb's fifth grade class when I was her long term sub six years ago and I knew them all. Only now they are all six feet tall! They were the food delivery team and I let them eat the broken pieces of cake and they were so happy. The team had to eat last so when the cook and I wheeled out the last giant cake cart, we nearly got mobbed trying to roll through the team to the food tables! Those football players sure put down the chow! I was glad Troy came up with Terry since he was in kindergarten with Niko Tupou and Quinn Edlin and knows most of the team. I'm so happy it was a sunny day and about the most gorgeous evening that God ever made.

6/16/2011 Football Mom or The Motherhood Payscale Stinks

Hi Mr. Blog,
I woke up thinking that
the pay-scale for motherhood stinks.
I have shopping, cooking and then
Teddy's first football game.
Something called a scrimmage.
I'm guessing it is like scrabble
only on your feet with a ball.
I've never been a football fan
because it is too violent for me,
but I'd better get over that by five
since I'm taking him up to Pop Keeney
field to get possibly
maimed for life or
killed.
Just gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

6/11/2011 When an Orange is a Homemade Taco

Hi Mr. Blog,
Boy was that ever tough.
Pretending my orange was a homemade taco.
Yikes!
Nothing like roaming around
a house hungry and lonely
to pack it on.
So I'm back to calorie counting
and eating dinner at lunchtime.
That means my orange for dinner
has to be: pizza, tacos, lasagna, grilled cheese sandwiches
and anything else Terry and the kids have to eat.
Thank God I have
a
really
really
really good
imagination!

6/9/2011 The Best Sub Day Ever

Hi Mr. Blog,
I had such a terrific day.
The best sub day ever.
The fourth graders in my class were just adorable.
And they worked so hard for me!
We just clicked.
You know what I mean?
I led a writing assignment
to both classes
then lunch.
Next they built circuits together
to test different materials for conductivity.
We celebrated a birthday with home made cupcakes
and I put on the radio
and filled cups with water
and we had a right little party.
To top it off
we ended the day with an assembly
and the fifth and six graders
played all kinds of classical
and pop music
including a White Stripes song
and Louie Louie.
And there he was.
My young friend Shane.
I hadn't seen him since he was in third grade
and there he was,
a tall, healthy sixth grader.
I was so proud of him I could have burst.
He was the best violinist in the group!
I would have paid them
to work there that day.
It was just that good.

5/30/2011 Feeling Buoyant

Hi Mr. Blog,
Wow was I in a dark place yesterday.
So dark that it is shocking today is the
exact opposite.
Isn't it funny how people are?
Brenda calls us Yo-Yo girls
because we change so fast.
Having those outstanding days subbing
in 6th grade caught up with me.
I love teaching
and I can get so hateful
that I can't get hired.
But you know what?
Today I just don't care!
I'm so excited!
I'm going to clean around the pool
and yard.
I feel so thrilled.
Perfect health.
I mean seriously,
what
else
matters?

5/28/2011 Subbing in 6th Grade and Loving It

Hi Mr. Blog,
I had the strangest thing happen Friday.
I was subbing in sixth grade at Parkwood elementary
for the Language Arts teacher,
and when I opened her teacher's manual
guess what I was going to teach?
Roman history!
I was so excited.
I love teaching the classics.
I was president of the Junior Classical League
in 1975 at Roosevelt High School.
Miss Engle used to go on and on about Roman history
and she'd get all excited.
She looked a like a robin with a juicy worm
the way she'd dance around the room with delight.
So, anyway,
that is not what is strange about teaching that particular lesson.
What is strange,
is that I taught the preceding Greek lesson
the last time I subbed
from the Houghton Mifflin text book
two weeks ago at Canyon Creek elementary!
Of course,
being superstitious and all,
I took it as a sign.
A sign that I'll get
a full time teaching job
this fall.
I know, I know,
it is irrational and silly.
But maybe there is a principal somewhere
that will see my seven years of loyal substitute service
and decide to give me a break.

5/27/2011 How to Raise Siblings That Are Best Friends

Hi Mr. Blog,
Wow it is so quiet.
Teddy and Troy just jumped on the bus
to go to downtown Seattle to the Folk Life Festival.
I asked Troy if I could go with them but he said no.
I'm just so thrilled they went together.
And probably Car too.
Safety in numbers and all that.
I know usually I come to you with everything
I've done wrong
but today I want to tell you about one of the
few things that I did right.
I tortured my son.
AND myself.
When Teddy was born
Troy was two and a half.
After we got Teddy in the house,
Troy was furious.
He shouted at me,
"Take it back!"
He had such perfect elocution
even as a toddler if you can believe that.
He hated Teddy
and I can see why.
Here I was thinking Troy was the cutest
little blue-eyed blond baby in history,
and dying for another one exactly the same,
when Teddy showed up.
I nearly died
in the hospital
from love
when I looked in his little eyes.
My eyes.
My mom's eyes.
My grandmother's eyes.
So it would be darn tough not to love him too much.
I knew by then that I was close to ruining Troy
by loving him too much.
My Auntie Jean warned me.
She said she and Uncle Frank did it with my cousin Carolyn.
So once I got over the shock of having two babies
I knew I had one long row to hoe.
My nickname growing up was Stupid.
Or Tag-a-Long.
I was the most annoying little sister in the world.
Still am.
Can't help it.
But I just couldn't stand the thought of my sons being enemies.
I know some adult brothers that are.
So, for the next six years I fought the exhaustion
and put Troy in time out
whenever he popped Teddy upside the head
or called him a name.
I think Troy spent 90%
of his childhood in time out
and I nearly had a nervous breakdown.
But you know what Mr. Blog?
IT WAS WORTH IT.
Even if I'm a tired old-choker mom
with teenagers under my feet all the time.
I would have done the same thing if I had to do it again.

5/24/2011 When Things Go Well, They Go Very Very Well

Hi Mr. Blog,
What a difference a good night's sleep makes!
I zipped right on up to Lake City Walgrens
and picked up my ship pics
and a dandy album to put them in
and I was off to Inglemoor High school.
I was early and who walks up to to me
but Troy.
Hahaha. He works in the office last period.
He said hi and told me where the restrooms are.
What a cute kid.
I dropped off his yearbook check
and went to the activities center to
pick up football forms for Teddy and his pal Michael.
The football coach, Frank Nash is also Troy's math teacher
so we had a brief pow wow about that, football and
the state of the economy.
Troy's counselor, Julie Barrett,
worth her weight in gold!
We reviewed his current grades
and talked about college programs
and looked at what he signed up for
for his senior year of high school.
It just seems impossible that he'll finish
high school next year.
She did her magic to make sure
his classes will fill his graduation requirements
AND classes he will like too.
Like team sports and videography.
Videography will fulfill his occupational education
requirement and lead into a neat
new video degree over at Shoreline community college.
I'd like him to go straight up to Western
but Terry is balking at the price tag.
Motherhood is so complex on so many levels
and I usually think I'm flunking.
But not today.
Today I spent the day making sure
my kid, my sweetie, my departed mom's Golden Boy,
got all the classes he needs next year.
And classes that will be fun.
Because you only get to be a senior
in high school one time.

2/17/11 A Mother Went to Sea Sea Sea...

Hi Mr. Blog,
Guess who called me this morning?
Brandy from Miami.
She is sending my airline ticket to Honolulu
and I leave March 5th.
So I am a seasonal youth staff from March 5th until May 1st.
Then I get reviewed by my superior and if that is positive
I can stay out there longer or come home.
I'm leaning towards staying longer if allowed because it can
be chilly here until August.
Somehow everything fell in place for me and I'll be home
to apply for the fall teaching jobs.
So after I hung up,
I just laid in bed for the longest time and a
patty-cake song from when I was a kid came to me:
A mother went to sea sea sea
to see what she could see see see
but all that she could see see see
was the housework she could flee flee flee

2/15/2011 So I Put the Valentines in That Special Place

Oh Mr. Blog!
I am so happy you are back.
You would not believe everything
that happened this week.
So I won't tell you.
But yesterday was Valentines Day
AND I had bought three, large and special valentines
three weeks ago.
One for Terry,
one for Troy
and one for baby Teddy.
They were lovely and very expensive.
Fifty cents each at the Kenmore Dollar Tree store.
So I had put them in
That Special Place,
so I could find them easily.
Ugh.
Yes.
You know what that means.
They are gone until the middle of July
or some other unlikely
to be close to Valentines Day day.
So, like all my other fine,
grand plans,
they were kaput.
I did find the cheap, cute schoolchild Scooby-Doo
valentines that I had bought for
my cruise ship coworkers that didn't materialize
and I attached them to the large dark chocolate
Hershey bars that I found in Teddy's backpack
when I was looking for a flashlight.
They were leftover from our trip to Yellowstone
with a large opened bag of marshmallows.
No wonder we have mice!
I put the cards and candy in Troy and Teddy's room
and right when I got ready to tape Terry's
Scooby-Doo to his chocolate
I had a fit of
chocolate craving.
I thought he wouldn't notice
one small square missing
BUT
he did notice all six squares missing with only
two left.
Darn.

3/5/2011 The Memorial of Lois Ringstrom Helton Spinrad

Hi Mr. Blog,
It was nice to see all my Helton and Lemon cousins
and my Auntie Adelle for the
first time in years and years at auntie's memorial yesterday.
She was a marvelous person and lived to be eighty-six.
My Auntie Lois was one of the finest women I ever knew.
Warm, kind, friendly, helpful and zesty.
She was my role model.
The kind of person I want to be someday.
Her dad was widowed and remarried to my divorced grandmother
long before I was ever born.
They had a slide-show of her life which included pictures of her
with her dad hiking when he was a fairly young man
and she was a little girl around nine.
He was the most kind, trustworthy person I ever met
and to me he was the old grandpa always reading me books.
Nice to see him and auntie young and captured in
family love and vibrancy.
Auntie Lois was my mom's step-sister and they were friends too.
When I was twelve, she invited us to visit her house in
Beaverton Oregon.
It was the only train trip I have ever been on
and pathetically short in my young opinion.
Her youngest daughter, Holly, and I were the same age
and got along like salt and pepper.
She had three older brothers, my cousins Paul, Chris and Mark
and they were wild as March hares!
I thought my sisters and I could get rowdy,
but those older boy teen cousins were in a league of their own.
Auntie had a nice rambler house and was a
single mom like my mom
and boy did she have her work cut out for her!
We all sat down to her picnic table for a barbecue
in her huge grassy back yard on a hot August night
and she asked Mark to say grace and he said,
"Good food, good meat, good God, LET"S EAT!"
My mom and aunt looked all shocked and auntie Lois said,
"MARK!"
But then she just started laughing.
We all laughed and laughed.
It was so much fun.
She was so nice and very refined and elegant and classy.
Auntie and mom took just us girls to see the Portland Rose garden
and the next day, all nine of us went to a place called
Lee Falls for the day.
There was this outcropping over a small lake with a natural
rock slide and you could slide off or jump into the lake.
Well, those wild boy cousins were so wild!
They were much older than me and full of the devil.
They did all kinds of dangerous-looking stunts
but do you know what Mr. Blog?
Auntie Lois was just unflappable.
She trusted them not to kill themselves and they didn't.
That day with my Auntie Lois and Helton cousins
and my mom and my sisters
was one of the best days
of my entire life.

2/3/2011 Pins and Needles, Needles and Pins

Hi Mr. Blog,
I have no idea why I was thinking about this
schoolkid saying when I woke up.
Pins and needles
needles and pins-
Where one begins
the other one ends.
What goes up the chimney?
Smoke
What comes down?
Santa Claus
One
two
three
four
I declare a thumb war!
Then you have a thumb war.
I suspect it is one of those old English sayings
like we said as kids like,
Don't step on a crack
or you'll break your mother's back.
We used to carry rabbit's feet in the early sixties
for good luck and not walk under ladders
or pass a black cat.
My ancestors on my mom's came to America right before the
Revolutionary War but those sayings couldn't
possibly have been handed down could they?
I wish I could find out the origins of all these superstitions!

2/1/2011 Is Your Teen Trying to Get Out of Doing Chores?

Hi Mr. Blog,
Good thing I'm over my cold so I'll be tough enough
when the kids come home.
I just unplugged their X-BOX 360!
I hid it next to the TV under a cloth.
I'm too lazy to carry it more than two feet
and the easiest way to hide something
is always in plain sight.
Hahahaha.
I'm such a mean mom.
No games allowed until
their chores are done.
I'm talking clean the whole house,
put their laundry away,
do their homework,
and when it warms up
they'll have to do the yard.
That's how I roll.
Ciao!

1/24/2011 Ugly Socks, Clocks and Panties

Hi Mr. Blog,
I should just stay on your couch
instead of coming and going all day.
I wish.
But, I had a very disturbing incident last week.
I went out to Target to buy some white socks that
I had seen advertised.
Six pairs for $4.99.
Every other year
I buy three six packs of new white socks.
I don't believe in sorting socks
do you?
So I get to Target and guess what?
The socks on sale were so ugly
you couldn't PAY ME to wear them
for any amount of money.
I have some pride.
Not a lot
but if I have to go to the ER
for some reason
you can bet
I won't be wearing white socks
with gray toes and heels!
I ended up paying a fortune
for Hanes white socks
and I was still unhappy.
I feel ridiculous
having pink toes and heels.
Apparently
they quit making plain white socks
for ladies.
As if that wasn't bad enough,
I go to pick up a new travel
alarm clock
and they were all digital!
There is nothing under the sun uglier
than a digital clock.
I remember when they came out in the late
sixties and you could
hear the clunking sound as
the numbers turned over.
They were ugly then
and they are ugly now.
I took one of my expanded surveys
which of course included the sales clerk,
my sister and Brenny,
and it turns out that
all women think
digital clocks
are ugly!
Imagine how rich the person
will be that designs
attractive analogue
travel alarm clocks.
Same thing for panties.
All women born after 1954
like bikini panties.
Not those ridiculous
French-cut panties
or worse,
but good old
bikini panties.
Any woman baby boomer
will tell you
that the only comfortable
panties on earth
are Jockey for Her panties,
but they are ugly as sin.
Black, white, gray, pastels.
Ugh.
If Jockey ever made a series
with small print flowers,
the CEO
could buy
a brand new
Lear Jet.

1/24/2011 I Never Heard the Pitter-Patter of Little Footsteps

Good Morning Mr. Blog!
When sissy came over to watch a movie the other day
it reminded me of one
time when she came for lunch
years ago.
Troy was six and Teddy was four
and they were racing around the house
and she looked at me and said,
"You never did get to hear the
pitter-patter of little footsteps did you?"
It was then
that I realized I never had
and probably never will.
More like a herd of elephants.
They are so huge now
that if they start to rough house,
the walls shake.
I guess if your kids are born at nearly
ten pounds each
that pitter-patter is
out of the question.

1/22/2011 Difficult Lima Bean and Ham Hock Soup

Hi Mr. Blog,
Well here's a recipe that will confound your wife.
I'm calling it Difficult Lima Bean and Ham Hock Soup
and I'll read it to you:
1 Go to Safeway and stare and the ten kinds of
dry beans in total confusion
2 Notice that large Lima beans are the only beans
NOT on sale
3 Go home and find what's left of your ham hock
from your split pea soup adventure and examine it
for meat
4 Remove your federal taxes receipts from your Tupperware
bowl and rinse it out for your Lima beans
5 Cover with lots of water and go to bed
6 Get up way too early for Toady's basketball game
and boil the tar out of your ham hock
7 Flip in into a giant strainer in the sink
8 Frantically scrub the burnt spot from the ham hock pan
while Teddy paces around the kitchen telling your to hurry up
9 Fling the Lima beans into the pot and hope you got all the SOS pad
residuals out of it or that no one can taste it if you didn't
10 Put the beans on low heat and run to the mini-van
11 Watch with great pride as your mini-me plays basketball
12 Think about how it seems like a minute ago that the team
was in third grade and how proud you are to know them
13 Enjoy socializing with the parents and think how
lucky you are to know such nice people
14 Try to be quiet driving home because Toady's team lost
and he is sad
15 Analyze how men take sports so personally and wonder why that is
16 Get home and try to hurry the Limas only to have it boil over
so you have to spend a half hour cleaning the mess
17 Feel thankful for having chronic sinusitis since you
manage to burn everything under the sun and your kitchen stinks
18 Pick the meat of the ham hock and toss it in soup add salt and pepper
19 Bring soup to a boil stirring and staring at it carefully
20 Lower the heat and take a nap so you're ready
to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks with sissy later
and have some difficult Lima Bean Soup

1/21/2010 Terry STILL Doesn't Know Where the Dishes Go?!

Good Morning Mr. Blog,
I finally feel better!
I had an apple for dinner last night
while watching Terry gorge himself
on toasted tomato and cheese sandwiches
and I woke up without a sore throat and headache
and felt like my old cheery self.
It's true!
An apple a day DOES keep the doctor away.
When I went to get coffee,
I couldn't find my favorite Starbucks cup
for ten minutes.
You'll never guess where it was!
On the top shelf where I put the summer
Kool Aid pitcher!
I can't even get things down from there
without climbing up on a chair
or using Lyle's old grabber contraption.
I have to stand tip-toed just to shove stuff on
the edge and then hope they don't fall on my head
when I open the cupboard.
So, there was my coffee cup and I used a ladle
to work it off edge and then caught it as it fell
because I wasn't awake enough
to be climbing on chairs OR working grab-it contraptions.
I got my cup and went to sit down
and I'm not clear what happened next,
but I was being scalded through my
Big Dog jammies and the table and lamp were upside-down
and my cup was empty.
I had to call Brenny to discuss it.
After that I realized that we have lived in the same
house for over twenty years and
Terry still doesn't know where the dishes go!
How can that be Mr. Blog?!
He has been eating.
I know that because like Brian Haley
pointed out years ago,
he is a Pop Tart over two hundred and fifty pounds.
So that means he has been using the dishes
and I've seen him unload the dishwasher.
Well, I haven't actually seen him, but I know he does.
I play possum until he leaves for work
since I'm too grouchy before coffee to
listen to his never-ending post office stories and
when I get up the dishes have been put away.
But God knows where!
On a hunch,
I decided to expand this theory of mine
that he can put things where they don't belong
and guess what?
There were my missing socks!
I think they had been in Teddy's drawer this whole time.
Terry, bless his heart, tried to help
put laundry away
and put most of my socks in Teddy's dresser.
So then I checked Troy's dresser and found the
rest of my socks.
Mystery solved.

1/19/2010 What Doctor Sally Said

Hi Mr. Blog.
I went up to see Doctor Sally in Bothell
this morning for seasickness medicine.
She was my doctor in 1980 when I first moved to
Bothell and she is like the nicest doctor in
the world.
I've been so tired since Teddy showed up that
I always go to the Kenmore Medical clinic,
but I like a woman doctor and Doctor Mickelbrink
moved to Oregon!
Anyway I wanted to get her opinion on this cruise ship
job because I am wracked with guilt over
leaving my family and do you know what she said?
"I think it is a great idea for two reasons.
One, you are role modeling to your kids that in
this economy, everyone has to do what they
can to get by. And two, think of how much they
will appreciate everything that you do
after five months. I think it is fantastic
and a wonderful thing for you to do!"
So then I felt nothing but relief Mr. Blog.
I have been having an internal war for months
about this. I feel selfish that I am determined to
use my expensive college degree for a good job.
Not just get a job at Mac Donald's
after I killed myself working at
Springtime Daycare all day and going to
night school all night at the UW for ten years.
It was hard changing diapers and
cranking out Teddy for Troy to play with.
Someday I'll get my own classroom
and can afford life again
but this isn't the day.
Ciao!

1/9/2010 Lazy Girl Split Pea Soup

Hi Mr. Blog,
How are you?
I'm starting to perk up a bit but it is slow.
I brought you a recipe for split pea soup for your wife.
I'll read it to you:
1 Go to Safeway and pray split peas are on sale
2 Wish you could afford Kool Aid packets
for the kids but you can't so you keep walking
3 Go home and cut the small bag of peas open and pour in a pot of water
4 Wonder if you'll get a horrible illness because you didn't
rinse them off but figure you won't since you haven't
in fifty-four years
5 Start the pot to boil and set the timer so you don't burn it
then turn it off until tomorrow when you aren't so tired
6 Dig through your freezer until you find your
Christmas ham hock
7 Throw that in a really big pot to boil to loosen the meat
8 Put the ham pot with loose meat in the fridge until the next day to cool off
9 Take the ham pot out of the fridge the next day
and warm it up so your hands don't get cold.
10 Cut the chunks of meat off and toss them in
what you hope turned into pea soup
11 Wonder how many ham hocks your mom cooked in her
lifetime and wish she hadn't died so you
could take her some soup later
12 Put in as much ham as you can before the pots spills over
13 Wonder if your sons eat enough soup that they
would consider careers in landscaping since they'll
be very strong and you hate yard work
14 Wonder if it is ham that Jewish people don't eat
and try to think of how you could ask that question
tactfully to a Jewish person
15 Add some salt and pepper and a bit of butter
and turn down to low so you can take a nap without the
house burning down