6/28/2010 The Snag of NIXPIX Only Having One Employee

*Skips in merrily and plops on couch*
Hell-oooo Mr. Blog!
I woke up depressed and cranky but
after I did my visualizations for motivation I felt better.
I visualized me and Terry in the giant God-hand cradle
with Troy and Teddy between us.
God was gently swinging us and I was looking at us
thinking how lucky we were to have perfect health.
Everything beyond perfect health is a bonus, right Mr. Blog?
Well, I have been a disorganized, naughty kitten this
year Mr. Blog.
I have been rotating between organizing my NIXPIX stuff
and cleaning out mummy's stuff in the basement
which means NEITHER got done!
UGH!!!
So I am being firm with myself.
NOTHING else is getting done until the NIXPIX stuff is
sorted and repacked.
God I wish I had one more employee!
I'm praying that God gives me a book keeper/secretary!
After I met with Aime Lambert I saw the handwriting on the wall.
It was in an old red-brick alley and someone (me) had
tagged the wall in huge four foot high letters to say,
"PAPERWORK SUCKS!"
Yikes Mr. Blog.
I wrote, "Homework Sucks"
on the side of a tiny dictionary in 1996 when I was going to
the UW, only to have Troy pick it up at ten and say,
"Look mom, some bad person wrote, "Homework Sucks!"
on this book.
Well, I took it out of his hands and turned the "Sucks"
into, "Rocks."
You know what I just realized?
Troy inherited my hatred of homework!
UGH!!!!
We managed to get him into a 6th period study hall to
force him to do it.
Oh God Mr. Blog!
I'm such a terrible mother!
So I have a little problem.
I need to get all the NIXPIX work done today
but it is about a 120 hour job.
And I have dishes, laundry, unpacking and packing to do AND
it is my sister Pam's 56th birthday
and I need everything for a party
by seven PM.
But you know what Mr. Blog?
Every woman I know
has a million things to do every single day.
It is the life of a woman to carry the entire
world on her small, fragile shoulders.
And that's okay,
because most of us train ourselves
to bear our burdens with joy.
Singing, chatting, loving our sisters globally
and knowing we are never alone.

6/22/2010 The WHO Convention in Puyallup

*Walks in and flops on couch*
Hi Mr. Blog, it is so good to see you!
I have a little tummy ache today but I wanted to tell you
about my great trip to Puyallup.
It started last Thursday with an anxiety attack
that immobilized me. I had a million worries
and couldn't seem to move.
So I called Brenda and she gave me a good pep talk.
I'm so glad I got over being annoyed with her after a month.
After her pep talk I jumped in my van and drove down I-405
just fine. I was listening to my soothing Wayne Dwyer CD
and his voice kept me calm.
When I got to the Renton S curves the car in front of me came
to a dead stop so I stopped too.
The pick-up truck behind me towing a 26 foot trailer
couldn't stop and swerved over onto the shoulder.
He missed flattening me like a bug by inches!
I made it to Puyallup and it looked so different than the last
time I was there with JoAnn in 1982.
My Grandma Ivy took us there in 1962 when I was six
and I won a package of bacon on a spin game.
I didn't see my hotel that I had a reservation for, but saw I
the Puyallup Motel a block from the fair grounds and went there
and canceled my other reservation since it was closer.
The Manager, Debbie, was so nice! I would stay there again!
I unpacked and headed over to the Ameriplex Building at three.
My table neighbor Pat was so wonderful. Her husband, Bob, is a retired
science teacher and was selling a great science book he wrote.
I was on the end and on the other side of them was Perdita,
who had written a book called, "The Word Garden."
It was the best children's book I have ever read for the two through
eight year olds and I have subbed for six years!
We set up until seven PM and I went to the motel
and watched silly TV, like "Burn Notice",
and others that Teddy and I enjoy at home.
I ate a can of tuna and bowl of noodles for dinner
and went to bed early.
When I got to the convention Friday morning I was shocked and astounded
at the marvelous booths and met fantastic vendors
from all over the country! Vendors came from Texas,
California, Oregon and even Wisconsin.
There was every curriculum under the sun for sale
for home school families from math, science,
language arts to art!
There were many reps. for summer camps
that I had never heard of and an online school
called Laurel Springs. The Laurel Springs sales
rep. Amber, told me all about it and it sounded so
wonderful that I applied for a job there when I got home.
Guess what Mr. Blog? I had the only original board game
set up for kids to play at the convention!
The home school families are very close, God-loving,
family-oriented families and I was glad I dressed up
in dresses and nice shoes every day since
they were all dressed nicely too.
They were all so warm and friendly and one little five year
old girl, Isabel, stayed with me all day for both days.
In between my shoppers she invented ten ways to play
my game, none of which involved reading.
She was so adorable with her long light brown ringlets
and shining blue eyes and baby teeth set in a tiny
heart-shaped face.
I wished she was my daughter.
We would just spin and count and move the cars
and laugh and laugh all day.
Late Friday morning I found a cute blond toddler in a green dress
looking for her mom. They had shopped at my booth earlier
and she remembered me and came to tell me she was lost.
I took her soft, tiny hand and walked her to the lost and found.
It is probably the only huge event where a child could
get lost and walk around safely for hours!
I had such great sales and it was a big morale booster.
Every single parent of a teen was amazed and thrilled
with my driving game and bought one!
But ten families with younger kids bought the game
to play like Monopoly because it ended up accidentally fun
without anyone needing to pass the driving test!
There was one lovely brunette teen girl that wanted
the game so bad but her mom said her husband had just lost
his job so they couldn't afford it.
But guess what Mr. Blog?
I gave that girl a game.
Because you know what?
Life is not about just money.
If my game brings joy to that darling girl,
that is an excellent sale in my mind.
The gift of joy and goodwill.
At the end of the convention I had sold eighteen games
and earned $360.00! Of course, after expenses, I only made
forty dollars, but I still felt happy.
When I left the show I was going to go visit my friend Riel
but I got on highway 512 West instead of East and ended
up South of Tacoma instead of in Auburn.
I was happy to see the sign for I-5 and jumped
on it to creep in gridlock for two hours home.
I felt a little poopy by then and my sore throat and headache
were back and I was so grateful to see my little family
and crawl in my own bed.
The tired vendor.

6/16/2010 Preparing for the Puyallup Home School Convention

*Bounces in excitedly and flops on couch*
Ahhh, Mr. Blog,
I love, love, love how you are always here for me!
I am so excited for the home school convention Friday
and Saturday I can barely contain myself!
I was sick my last two shows and it is hard
to sell when you feel poopy.
Terry is at work and the kids are in school so I could
get all my supplies sorted and packed without confusion.
I woke up to a message from my friend Dori about not throwing
in the towel for getting a teaching job quite yet.
I DID see the light bulb go off in the kids' eyes several
times when I was student teaching.
It was so powerful.
And so hard won.
I would spend five hours preparing a one hour geometry lesson
to devise kinetic memorization strategies
that I was sure would work on the kids.
Tough to turn your back on that!
She suggested I send notes to the principals I know best
so that was what I did!
My resume happened to fall inside the envelopes
I was sending.
What if there was a miracle Mr. Blog
and they needed to hire more affirmative action people?
At fifty-three years old I would be the oldest new hire
in the history of Northshore School District!
So I whipped off a few notes and resumes and popped them
in the mail right when I got up for inspiration.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right Mr. Blog?
I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up for high sales
at the home school convention Mr. Blog.
It will be the first venue in my ten months of sales
where people will be actually looking to buy educational products.
I'm taking two hundred games just to be safe.
If I sold them all I could at least pay Connie the
cash I owe her and that would make me feel good.
I'm still sad that the printer goofed up and only
laminated the top of the top game board.
It's embarrassing to have curling flaps
but there is nothing I can do about it now.
Move forward, move forward, move forward.
Right Mr. Blog?
Do you believe in God Mr. Blog?
*Looks over at him and sees him nodding*
I do too. it's just how I was raised to have faith.
I need to have faith I'll sell out Friday and Saturday.
I need to have faith that I'll get a full time teaching job
next year and be a super duper teacher.
I need to fund Gin Latin to help young people globally
find easier and better literary success!
I love, love, love to read Mr. Blog.
Don't you?
*Looks over to see him nodding*
Everyone should have the literacy fluency to enjoy the
wonderful books and stories out there!

6/12/2010 "Mom, You're Abnormally Friendly"

*Still laying on couch*
Well Mr. Blog,
Sorry I got all choked up over a stupid
dried out daisy.
*lays tiny said
daisy on chest*
So on Tuesday
Troy comes home from school and tells
me that the Klondike Museum that
he and Carlos went to last week-end
does not count towards his art class!
UGH! I tried to tell them that!
I swear to God Mr. Blog,
you can't tell a sixteen year old boy
ANYTHING!
Well, I knew I was working Thursday and Friday
and I wanted to work Wednesday so bad,
but my kid is more important
than anything in the
world to me so I
had to block out
and find a suitable nearby gallery.
He won't go anywhere with me willingly since I'm not,
"Kwel." They can't even spell it! C-O-O-L!!! Ugh!
So Wednesday afternoon
it was another gloomy day in Kookmore
and Troy and I hopped in my van for Kirkland.
The Howard Mandville Gallery
had a nice big sign and it was very
easy to spot!
We parked right next to it and went inside
and I was so proud of that rotten kid of mine.
While at home
he acts like he was
raised by wolves,
I was shocked and delighted at the words
that came out of his peach-fuzz, surrounded mouth!
"Excuse me maam, I am here for a school project
and wondered if I could trouble you
for some art information."
I was like, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!
In my head of course.
I knew better than to try to stay with him
so I wandered off and looked at the paintings
and sculptures and I was in a state of awe.
I don't think I'd been to a gallery
since I was in London at the National Gallery in 1989.
Theresa and I had buddy-bid job-shared with a few
senior mamas to work the non-stops from
Denver to London and I had convinced my mom
to get her passport and go with us.
They even upgraded her to First Class!
She wanted to see everything and the National Gallery
was on her list so we went took a red double-decker bus to
Trafalger Square and found it.
Anyway, back to Troy.
I could overhear him talking like a well-mannered adult
to the gallery curator as I enjoyed the art.
I was so amazed at the paintings that
I was getting really short on breath and
had to remind myself to breathe a few times.
There was one painting of Friday Harbor
that stopped me in my tracks.
I had stood at that exact spot on the hill
where the painter had painted it from!!!
It was the most beautiful painting I had ever seen
because it captured a decade of memories for me.
Memories of spending a week up on San Juan Island
at Mar Vista resort with Terry and the kids
every year since Troy was born.
One year, mom and Lyle decided
to take a Kenmore Air Harbor float plane up to meet us!
Troy was six, and we left Terry and Teddy over
at the cabin and drove to town and stood
on the hill above the harbor watching
for their float plane.
In the EXACT spot the painting was painted!
When we saw the plane,
we ran down the hill together,
laughing our heads off,
and out onto the dock to meet the float plane.
Oh, back to the gallery.
Well Mr. Blog, as you can imagine
I love, love, loved that painting
but it was $14,000.000 so I didn't buy it.
Troy finished his report and we drove home
and turned right at Seattle Supplements
down our little road.
I saw our handsome garbage man, Anatolia,
collecting garbage at the boat store and
waved out the window to him.
He didn't see me and Troy said,
"He didn't see you mom. You are abnormally friendly."
We were rolling past Plywood Supply and he said with irritation,
"Mom, did you take some class or something?
You are way too friendly."
And I said,
"No class,
that's just how God made me."

6/12/2010 The Daisy Chain Queen of Holly Park Housing Project 1960

*Skips in merrily and flops on couch*
Good Morning Mr. Blog!
Gosh it is so sunny and I feel like a million bucks!
So two days ago I was leaving Brookside
and walking across the grass to my mini-van
and I had a flashback
when I saw the tiny white English daisies
poking out of the lawn.
It was 1960
and I was following my mom.
Pam and Strawberry were clutching my grubby
little four year-old hands
and swinging me between them!
We were all laughing!
Even my mom was laughing which was rare after
her divorce and having to move from her darling house
in Alderwood Manor to Holly Park Housing Project.
It was mostly black families there
and they were not all that thrilled to see us.
So, anyway, My sisters were swinging me,
which I begged them to do at all times
and we were all laughing
and the grass was that soft,
early Seattle rich green of June.
Before July and August turned it brown and scratchy.
We were walking from our house up the gentle hill
that ran from Othello up to the Community Center and library.
Out of the blue,
mom plopped down on the grass.
We gathered around her with interest.
Strawberry was eight and Pam was six.
Strawberry had red hair and Pam had brunette hair like mom
and I had my bright blond hair cut in a Pixie cut
like every other unlucky girl in 1960.
We sat in a circle and my mom picked a tiny
wild English daisy.
Then she picked a handful and told us to watch.
Well, I stared holes into my mom
and was convinced she could do magic
when I saw what she did.
She carefully sliced a hole,
with her fingernail,
into that tiny stem
and then slid another daisy stem
through the hole!
I could NOT believe my eyes!
I thought my mom was about the
best thing in the world!
Who else could make macaroni and cheese
from the welfare office loading dock
on Rainier Avenue taste so good?!
So we watched our mom as she connected
the daisies together.
We sat huddled in that soft grass
on that warm sunny day
under the buzzing power lines,
and it was blissful.
Of course when I was four
I didn't know that it was blissful.
*Blinks tears that form*
But I know now Mr. Blog!
So, anyway, mom finished the first chain
and put it on top of Strawberry's
thick, wavy red hair.
She looked like a beautiful princess!
Then mom said,
"Try it girls."
We sat there and made daisy chains
for I don't know how long, Mr. Blog.
Until we each had a crown and necklace
and bracelet.
Then we all got up and continued
up the hill to the library.
The Daisy Queen
and Princesses
of Holly Park.

6/11/2010 Brookside Elementary Field Day

*Skips in merrily and flops on couch*
Hi Mr. Blog!
Did you miss me?
I had so much fun the last two days subbing
at Brookside Elementary!
I was in the Contained Learning Center
so I was with another grown up, Dona.
She is the paraeducator that works with
half the kids. It is so fun subbing
there since I've known most of the kids
since they were little.
We covered lots of curriculum yesterday
and this morning and guess what?!
The PTA made us lunch. They have like the
best PTA in the world there.
They had decorated the entire staff room with
Race Car things for the theme:
Race to the Finish!
Hahaha. It was so cute.
But it gets better...
After lunch was field day!
I was especially happy since our class went with
Patty's class. She has the fourth graders
and I knew most of them from last year
when I was subbing for Michelle a lot.
I was surprised I remembered all their names
since I haven't run into them since last June!
They had all the standard field day games like
tug-of-war and gunny sack races and a few I hadn't seen.
In the gym they made carts and the kids had teams to
push the teachers around a track and get timed.
My team was full of crazy nine year old boys and
I told them to run fast,
cause I was a tough old sub.
They pushed my cart so fast I thought
we'd get a speeding ticket.
What a rush!
I laughed my head off.
They also had a team challenge with spray bottles of water
where one person with the spray bottle is blindfolded
and the other person steers them.
I went out and let them attack me and they loved that.
Then the dad running the game brought me a
water bottle to defend myself.
I was laughing so hard and we were so wet!
It got warm and sunny for the first time
in weeks and our last two activities gave us a chance
to dry off a bit.
They had oversized intertubes that made the kids
look like huge doughnuts with heads and feet.
They kind of bumped into each other
and fell over and rolled around.
It looked super fun!
Then we did a money relay.
The kids ran across the field to 5 gallon plastic tubs
that were filled with photocopied real money
of all denominations and they could only take one bill
and run back so the team with the highest cash won.
They loved it and I nearly cried seeing how kind
the regular ed kids were to all our special ed kids.
I've subbed there so long that I've known
most of the kids since kindergarten
and they are some of the finest people in the world.
Plus the teachers and staff are so nice to us subs and the
new principal is too. They treat us like real people
and don't look down on us like they do at some schools.
I mean, it's horrible not having a full time job
but it sure makes it worse when the staff is unfriendly.
At Brookside everyone is fantastic!
I can't imagine how wonderful it must be
to have a job there.
I'm just glad for the best two days of my sub career.
I feel really happy.

6/9/2010 Menopause The Musical, Edmonds Performing Arts Center

*Walks in slowly and flops down*
Hi Mr. Blog,
I saw the funniest show I have ever seen
in my entire life last night over at the
Edmonds Performing Arts Center.
I went to see, "Menopause The Musical"
with my Kenmore home-girls Bev and Connie.
I never laughed so hard in my entire life
and it was perfect timing since
our water main repair bill wiped us out.
I'm selling my stamp collection for
food money next week.
So the musical had four main characters:
The businesswoman, hippie, preppy and drama queen.
Each character represented stereotypical American
women that would be affected by, "The Change"
in different ways.
The horrendous physical and mental effects were poked fun at
with nothing being held sacred.
I felt so validated after laughing at
sleeplessness, memory loss, mood swings,
age discrimination for employment and hot flashes.
The point of the musical is that women gain wisdom as they age.
While our culture celebrates youth and beauty,
our insides ARE more important than our outsides.
One song was even about valuing our insides over our outsides.
Oh how I felt so less alone.
I felt bonded with my friends and the audience.
I felt embraced by my culture for the first time in years.
I know that I have been discriminated against because of my age
for being hired as a full time teacher.
Time to move on and get a job at Grocery Outlet.
I will not be the first person to flush $40,000.00
for a University of Washington degree
down the toilet that leads no where.
While I can't get hired as a full time teacher
at fifty-three, I can get hired at the store.
I can make shoppers feel valued and cherished
and get my ogre of a husband off my back
for being jobless.
I can accept that my maturity and wisdom
and kindness will benefit my community.
Someday, when Gin Latin goes global,
I will look back on these very dark
days and laugh.

6/8/2010 Earring Quest

**Cartwheels in feeling very frisky, does a back-flip and lands on couch*
Good Morning Mr. Blog!
Nothing like coming here where I can
do anything my imagination lets me do.
*Juggles 100 nerf balls while laying on back*
I feel like a million bucks today!
No flu. No cold.
I think maybe it was good for me
to just take a day off from chores
yesterday to goof off.
It was fun to go to Alderwood Mall and see the
movie, "Splice." I only saw half 'cause it was
too scary and I had my hands over my eyes
whenever the suspenseful music came on.
I enjoyed hunting for earrings to replace these ones
I bought in 2003. I'm so picky!
When Gottchalks bought the Lake Forest Park Lamonts,I shopped there until they closed.
It was the only department store in Northshore.
Then they decided to sell that store and had
a big going out of business sale.
I bought four pair of 14 karat gold
leaver-back earrings with .5 carat cubic zirconium stones.
So, I'm too lazy to change my earrings and they
were perfect because I could sleep in them without
getting poked in the neck.
As I lost them, I'd just keep going through the
next seven, then six, blah, blah, blah
until I had one left.
I went to Target and found
nearly the same ones
but only one quarter the size.
So I wore those for a year until I lost one
and then I found an old Gottchalk's one under
my bed, but they were different sizes.
So that is what I have been wearing for the last year.
No one has noticed or if they did
they didn't say anything.
Last time I went to visit Bren,
we went to the Hilo mall and checked
every single store.
Ten stores, without any luck.
So, after my movie,
I went to ten stores in Alderwood Mall
and found some similar
but not exactly what I wanted.
I did find the perfect style and size at Sears
only to find out they were coated nickel
which would give me an ear infection.
Shopping alone made me miss Brenda.
It made me miss our close friendship
that we used to have.
But people and relationships all evolve
over time to different phases
so it was to be expected.
The heart often has
it's own directive
and it isn't always logical.
After two hours I gave up and
hung around at Godiva Chocolates
with my scout pal Grady.
I met him when he was working up
at Camp Brinkley as a staffer
six years ago.
He was only thirteen then
and was there every year for four years that
I took my little cubs
up to camp for a week.
We became pals
and don't live too far apart
and it was fun to visit.

6/8/2010 Melinda Gates, My Hero

*Walks in cheerfully and lies down on couch*
Hi Mr. Blog,
You know how I am always thinking
about how we are going to
end the human sufferings and
socioeconomic inequities of the world?
Well, the Seattle Times had an
article this morning that gave me
great hope for the future of
our people and planet.
THE BIG NEWS OF THE DAY
that has me so excited
is that Melinda Gates is having
her foundation donate 1.5 BILLION dollars
to help women globally that don't have access
to birth control and medical care.
Did you know over 200 million women globally
don't have basic family medical care?
That is so outrageous Mr. Blog.
You know how I think global overpopulation
is going to make our species extinct.
With the abundance of human and physical
resources it seems like we should be able
to solve all the problems of the world.
And here comes Melinda Gates to tell
the world leaders that we haven't tried hard enough.
And she is right.
We are all responsible for taking
care of each other
and having the compassion
and desire to solve our problems.
Melinda Gates is my hero now,
above all others.
I wish I could mail her a thank you card
but I doubt it would ever get there.

6/6/2010 Joyce Allen Williams Lehde Sellards

*Walks in and flops on couch*
I finally got over my cold Mr. Blog.
Took forever.
So all month I have been sorting mom and Lyle's stuff
from the back of my basement where it has sat for seven years.
Yesterday I went through mom's pictures and I felt
much less sad.
She had a great life!
She took a zillion pictures and the times
with Lyle looked the happiest.
This is what I learned from sorting her pictures:
She loved: Lyle, her family, her friends, God and gardening.
I think that is the right order.

6/4/2010 I Am The Inconvenient Friend

*Walks in slowly and lies down on couch*
I am feeling a little better but cleaning out
my parents' stuff is wearing me down a bit.
I think that is why I keep getting sick.
Stress from sorting my dead parents stuff
just makes me feel weak and tired and vulnerable.
So three days ago my childhood pal Sarah
called out of the blue.
I hadn't seen her or talked to her for six years.
She is so bubbly and delightful and sounded
very interested in rekindling our friendship.
I was tickled and asked if she would like me
to pop down Sunday afternoon.
She said that would be lovely.
The next day I woke up and thought,
"Wait a minute. The last four times we got together
I went to her house, even though it is way down in town."
So I called her and said that since
I visited her the last four times,
it was time for her to to make the effort to visit me.
Guess what she said, Mr. Blog?
"I'm not driving out to Kenmore. That is inconvenient."
Well, I told her that when she had more energy,
that she could make the effort
and then I'd go down and frolic at her place with her.
She just laughed and I did too but I don't think she'll call again
because I think that I am just
the inconvenient friend.

6/3/2010 I Love Those Big Recycle Bins! Tree Climbing Old Ladies

*Walks in slowly and flops on couch*
Hi Mr. Blog.
I finally feel a little better.
Do you think stress can make you sick?
I was pretty hysterical and disturbed after
my day at the graveyard
and have felt poopy ever since.
I want to work tomorrow very, very much
so I'm going to go to bed at six tonight.
I am so happy the recycle and garbage man came yesterday.
I love the giant green wheeled bins they invented
so we could all pitch in and help our environment.
I filled them so full of stuff from mom and Lyle's
junk in the basement last week that I had to climb up
inside the recycle bin and jump on it.
I know I hurt my back a little but it was worth it.
Reminded me of how much I love love love
to climb trees!
The last time I climbed one was six years ago
down in the swamp.
I was only forty-seven and I was babysitting
Jacob Waldrop for Wanda.
He and Troy and Teddy and I were down in the swamp
and I saw some pussywillows I wanted and started climbing.
They were quite surprised to see an old lady
climbing a tree.
Well, going up was fairly easy
although I was certainly not as limber
as a monkey like I was in my thirties.
I seemed to have gotten a tad heavier too.
I was about fifteen feet up when the branch under
my feet broke off!.
Lickety split I was sailing through the
air like a missile
and landed on my butt in the mud.
Now there is a situation where a big butt
is highly advantageous if I ever saw one!
I turned red with embarrassment and the boys cracked up.
Now I read years ago that it is biologically impossible for
someone over the age of thirty to blush
and I beg to differ on that point.
If there was ever a person that could do or say
something embarrassing once a day,
I'm that person.

6/2/2010 Nobody Likes a Whinebaby

*Shuffles in and blows nose, flops on couch*
Oh Mr. Blog,
How cruel is it that I love to teach
but seem allergic to my little customers?
Every time I sub
I get sick. How I admire full time teachers.They seem to have antibodies
built up against all the little germ-spreaders.
Must be nice.
I'm so glad you are here.
I'm bored and tired and lonely and sick again/still.
I can talk to you about it and you don't care.
You are paid to listen to whatever drivel
my little mouth dispenses.
This is the place to whine
or crow
or what? All points in between?
I had a life-changing experience in 1979
when I was a substitute mail carrier out of Bitter Lake
Post Office. I'll bet I have spent more years
of my life lost and trying to find addresses
than any other person in America.
Five years.
It was dark and rainy and
that wet cold that only Seattle has.
The kind of chill that gets right
inside of your bones
so that you wish someone would skin you
and plop your bones in a big pot of water
over a bonfire to
warm them up
and then pop them back inside your body.
So I had never delivered mail on
Greenwood Avenue in Seattle before.
I had come to work with a cold
and any postal worker can tell you this:
If you show up, you have to work.
If you can't work, stay home
but be prepared to drag yourself
to the doctor no matter how awful
you feel because the supervisors
believe/trust no one.
You have to have a note from the doctor
or you can get fired.
So I came in a at ten AM to carry swings
and was sent out to deliver Greenwood Avenue
from 105th NE to 110th NE and one block
East and West on both sides.
It got dark at four, which is common in Seattle
in the winter, but I kept slogging along
trying to locate the mailboxes
of the apartment buildings.
Most people don't know or care
that postal workers have to find them at some point.
I mean, if someone was having a heart attack
you'd hope there were a bunch of indicator signs
on the road below long driveways or house numbers
that weren't covered up by bushes...
I was aching from my head to toe
and wishing I was dead when I heard a
cheerful voice behind me.
"Hey Gretchen, how are you?"
It was the delightful, sunny
curly red-haired Bobby Geiger,
who had come to look me up
to help me finish the swings.
I looked at him and started crying,
"Oh Bobby, I'm sick and tired and can't find
the mailboxes in the dark."
He looked at me and said,
"NOBODY LIKES A WHINEBABY, GRETCHEN."
The impact was instant and profound.
I would NEVER be a whinebaby again!
So ever since that fateful night, Mr. Blog,
I have made a conscious effort not to
be a whinebaby Mr. Blog, because
NOBODY LIKES A WHINEBABY!