Hi Mr. Blog,
I should just stay on your couch
instead of coming and going all day.
I wish.
But, I had a very disturbing incident last week.
I went out to Target to buy some white socks that
I had seen advertised.
Six pairs for $4.99.
Every other year
I buy three six packs of new white socks.
I don't believe in sorting socks
do you?
So I get to Target and guess what?
The socks on sale were so ugly
you couldn't PAY ME to wear them
for any amount of money.
I have some pride.
Not a lot
but if I have to go to the ER
for some reason
you can bet
I won't be wearing white socks
with gray toes and heels!
I ended up paying a fortune
for Hanes white socks
and I was still unhappy.
I feel ridiculous
having pink toes and heels.
Apparently
they quit making plain white socks
for ladies.
As if that wasn't bad enough,
I go to pick up a new travel
alarm clock
and they were all digital!
There is nothing under the sun uglier
than a digital clock.
I remember when they came out in the late
sixties and you could
hear the clunking sound as
the numbers turned over.
They were ugly then
and they are ugly now.
I took one of my expanded surveys
which of course included the sales clerk,
my sister and Brenny,
and it turns out that
all women think
digital clocks
are ugly!
Imagine how rich the person
will be that designs
attractive analogue
travel alarm clocks.
Same thing for panties.
All women born after 1954
like bikini panties.
Not those ridiculous
French-cut panties
or worse,
but good old
bikini panties.
Any woman baby boomer
will tell you
that the only comfortable
panties on earth
are Jockey for Her panties,
but they are ugly as sin.
Black, white, gray, pastels.
Ugh.
If Jockey ever made a series
with small print flowers,
the CEO
could buy
a brand new
Lear Jet.
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