Good evening Mr. Blog!
Well!
That was some day yesterday!
As usual I woke up at six and played possum
until seven thirty when Terry left.
Much to my surprise, when I got upstairs
and looked out the window, sissy's roof was solid white.
for a minute I thought it was snow,
then realized it was ice so
I went and peered out the bathroom window
at my thermometer on the front porch and was
shocked to see it was only twenty-eight degrees out.
I had to hustle my bustle to get ready
and decided to start my van before my shower
to thaw it out.
Mummy's wheelchair ramp was like a ski slope
so I was extra careful sliding down the ramps.
I decided that breaking a leg on the way to the doctor's
appointment would add too much excitement to my day!
The door was frozen shut, but after much tugging I
got it open and the motor started.
I dressed in thin,
royal blue with white-dotted batiked summer pants and top
and added a gray wool blazer
with my little white penny loafers.
Terrible outfit.
Luckily the fashion police weren't across the street at Starbucks!
I fetched Brenny at Joan's in Wedgewood and cruised over
70th to Roosevelt and vaguely remembered it turned into
Westlake. For someone born in Seattle
it is hard to remember where anything is anymore
and only a few of my old landmarks remain
from the sixties and seventies.
Brenny was cranky as all get out
and if I looked bad, she looked worse!
Thank God we didn't run into anyone we knew!
We looked like two crazy old ladies that had
put everything from Goodwill in a blender
then dressed in the dark.
Brenda spotted Denny Way and we found the
US Medical clinic and parked and it was then
that I noticed it was sunny out.
We went in and I got my twenty-five pages of
Coast Guard medical forms
and almost left then and there.
It looked too big to me but
I couldn't wimp out after
I dragged Brenny along for confidence.
She began her tired chatter and I tried
desperately to tune her out and concentrate
and just when I was thinking I MIGHT have to
ask my best friend of thirty-seven years to step out,
she got up and said she needed to find a mailbox!
Whew.
Close one.
I wrote answers and marked the one hundred boxes
at top speed and finished in a half hour and Jared
checked to make sure I filled in everything.
The nice man helping me in the back
didn't have on a name tag and
didn't introduce himself so I just did whatever I was told
starting with the urine sample.
Well, that didn't work out because I seemed low on that account
after being totally stunned to see a toilet with six chains
around the top and duct tape over the paper towel holder.
He told me to drink loads of water and I told him that
he needed to weigh me first!
He refused and I knew I couldn't punch him
without jeopardizing my new career but
every woman knows a half gallon of water
weighs four pounds!
He put me on the scale and I weighed one hundred and fifty-five
pounds which would have been fine if I hadn't fibbed
about my weight and wrote one forty-five
when I was really one-fifty!
I didn't think I'd get a physical for
at least two weeks!
I will cry if they don't take me for being a big
Fibbermagee. I'm so honest about everything else!
I argued with him to take off eight pounds for the water
and heavy winter clothes but he would not
budge one inch.
Easy for him.
He HAS a job.
Once I gave up arguing I decided to make the best
of it and it turns out he had been on LOADS of
cruises and told me all kinds of interesting
facts about being on a ship.
I was so happy listening to his cruise stories
that I forgot I was even at the doctor.
My blood pressure, vision and hearing were fine
and he turned me over to the nice young woman doctor.
I immediately tried to talk her into changing my weight
because of my dreadful water intake situation.
She told me my BMI was 28 and lower than hers
so not to worry about it.
Easy for her, she HAS a job.
She had me do some odd range of motion movements
and when she finished
I asked her what she thought
and she said, "I'm passing you."
I nearly fainted right there on the table!
All over the top of all the forms were places
for the doctor to mark, Fit For Duty and
Not Fit For Duty.
I was SO relieved, I can't tell you!
So I thanked her and she left and my darling
unnamed man came back and took a gallon of blood
and sent me back to the chained up toilet for
another go at it.
He looked at me with concern and when he handed me the cup
he marked it with a line and told me
that was how much was needed.
Talk about pressure!
I got back and he had the two Coast Guard UA
vials on the little counter in the hall
and I held my breath as he filled up the first one
and then the second one.
It went EXACTLY to the mark
and I exhaled with a whoosh and he said,
"That was close."
I thanked him and smelled cinnamon rolls baking
in the clinic and went back to the front desk
where Diana helped me call Miami with my sample number.
Camille at the Miami clinic was so cheerful
that I wished her a happy holiday and went
to find my Brenny.
It looked like the most glorious sunniest day
in Seattle history as I strolled merrily to my
mini-van.
Brenny came walking up and I told her I was starving
to death. I craved going to a little cafe out of the
big city but she asked if I wanted to eat at her
very favorite place two blocks away.
I DID not want to but I kept my lips sealed
and thought to myself,
"There is no one else in the world that would
give up a half day to go to a clinic when they
are exhausted and worn out from family holiday
shenanigans, except my Brenny."
I pulled my great big Brownie smile out of my pocket
and walked over to her and looped my arm through
hers and said,
"I'd be delighted."
Ciao!
No comments:
Post a Comment