Tuesday, April 13, 2010

4/13/10 Substitute Teacher, Flight Attendant, Mail Carrier

*Drags in and flops on couch smiling*
Oh Mr. Blog,
I had the best time subbing today.
I did third grade the first half of the day
and kindergarten the second half.
Those kindergartners are so tiny and cute!
None of them had any front teeth.
My pal Liz said I should let the principal
know that I'd be interested in any long-term sub
jobs so I did! I was so nervous but you know what?
She was really nice too!
I gave her a copy of my resume because I have now
taken fifteen voluntary professional development classes
and that ought to count for something.
Seven years in the sub pool is a very long time.
I was only a substitute mail carrier five years before I
got my very own mail route-well after I was stuck being
a T-6 for a year. What a nightmare that was.
A T-6 does five routes on a rotation to cover the regular
mail carrier's rotating day off. When they end Saturday mail
delivery those people will all lose their jobs.
Then when I was a substitute flight attendant, it was called
being a "Reserve" flight attendant. I went off and on reserve
the first three years and so that wasn't too bad.
Matter of fact, one time it was totally awesome!
I was based in Honolulu at the time with Debbie Agricola
and a bunch of junior pals. Debbie and I shared the crash-pad
basement of this gorgeous house by Diamond Head just up
from Queens beach. We had the nicest roommates!
Three of them lived there full time: Patty, Kelly and Carol
and three of us rotated in and out in the basement.
I loved Hawaii except for the cockroaches.
One time Deb and I were laying in our twin beds blabbing
and this huge flying cockroach came flying out of the sky
and bounced off my chest! I was screaming so hard!
We flipped on the light and saw it on the floor and it was
four inches long and really hefty like a linebacker cockroach.
I slept with my sheet over my head and went to the store
the next day and bought ten cockroach traps and placed them
all around my bed. When we flew different times Debbie would
always have them all around her bed.
Anyway, me, Debbie, Keeka and our other five best friends were
laying on the beach out at Sandy Beach sunbathing one day
and Debbie's beeper went off so she ran across the road
to the phone booth and called scheduling. This was before
cell phones were invented in 1987. She started screaming,
"I'M GOING TO TAHITI!" over and over again so we all
jumped up and ran to the phone booth and I called next
and got assigned the trip and asked the scheduler if I could
please pass the phone to the person I was with and she said sure.
So we passed the phone down the line until all seven of us
we on the trip that night! Oh my God Mr. Blog!
We deadheaded down there with eight other junior pals
and got to Tahiti to the nicest hotel in the world!
We sat reserve there to cover a 747 crew of fourteen people
for the entire week! And guess what?! No one ever got sick
so we got to swim and snorkel all day and party all night
and go sightseeing and shopping and at night the hotel
would have Tahitian dancers perform. I liked the men
dancing with swords and torches! Man that looked dangerous!
They would give our crew fashion shows and teach us how to wear
a Sari a zillion different ways. Man, that was some good subbing!
I was only twenty-nine and looked really cute back then since
I was like only size six and one hundred and twenty-five pounds.
Ahhh, those were the days! Man we had fun in Tahiti but it
was way too hot for me. Like in the nineties all the time.
But I had ALWAYS wanted to go there and I did.
So back to today.
After I talked to the principal and gave her my resume
I could have just skipped down the hall I was so happy.
That is like the nicest public school in the world too Mr. Blog!
It is like a private school it is so fancy and it a lovely neighborhood.
But you know what Mr. Blog? I think seven years subbing should
count for something don't you?

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