Friday, March 26, 2010

3/26/10 Why do I Boycott Poptarts? Because of an Offensive Ad on TV Four Years Ago, That's Why!

*Walks in and lies down*
I don't even know how I feel today Mr. Blog.
I'm waiting for Brenda to call to find out.
I'm sure I told you about my lifetime boycott of Poptarts before Mr. Blog.
Four years ago I was watching TV and I saw the most offensive ad.
A boy around 13 knocks on the door of a nice white house.
A cute girl the same age opens the door and he asks her
to go to a movie or dance or something like that.
She tells him to wait there and closes the door.
She runs to the kitchen, grabs a Poptart,
then runs out the back door of the house!
Kellogg is losing millions of dollars in revenue because of that stupid ad.
Poptarts are Terry, Troy, Teddy and Carlos' favorite food in the world.
I have to add Carlos because he is eating us out of home with Troy.
I call them salt and pepper since Troy is blond and Carlos has black hair.
As the mother of two boys that take weeks to get up the
courage to ask girls out, I will never ever buy poptarts again!
Mr. Kellogg can kiss my grits.
The only way I would buy poptarts is if they put me on TV at the end of that commercial
and gave me a public apology and promise not to tick me off anymore.
Whew! I feel so much better!
So something interesting happened when I went to sub at
Lake Forest Park elementary yesterday.
I was signing in for the new teacher
and Maureen told me I'd been switched to my pal's room.
Well, that was nice since I've subbed for her for seven years
and can locate everything quickly.
I went in and made sure the emergency backpack was by the door
and checked the electronic overhead project
and got the name-tags made and then...
The little cuties arrived!
I forgot how adorable six and seven year old kids are.
Many had their new teeth halfway in already!
Gee those half-teeth look odd, but cute.
We had a wonderful day together and only one boy cried
when I told him not to cut his paper while walking around.
Walking and running with scissors is a bad idea.
Did I tell you about the time I was subbing and a kid
(not in my room thankfully) cut his vein in his hand
when he got a-hold of the teacher scissors down the hall?
I heard screaming and ran down to the bathroom and I
had no idea a hand could gush blood like a fire hydrant!
Thank God I'd had years of first aid training as a flight attendant
and scout leader. I grabbed his hand and put it under the cold
water while I got paper towels to put pressure on him.
Reminded me of the time I was volunteering at Kenmore Elementary
at cross country when Teddy's pal Aidan got beaned in the head by a rock
on the swing set. His head was gushing blood when I got there too
and I was so grateful I had a clean, cloth handkerchief in my pocket
to stop the blood. Both kids had to go to the ER in ambulances.
When I tell the kids at the start of the day that my number one
concern is their safety and that they have to let me know
if they are leaving the room for the restroom, they look
at me like I'm some paranoid old lady.
Well, yeah, I am.
So I really, really wanted to sub today!
Waa. I found these fantastic Kelty brand tents
that are perfect for car-camping and I need to work
three days to pay for them.
They are 10'x17' and have one side as a little screen house!
They must have been designed by my twin-thinker Mr. Blog!
I love seeing the stars when I camp at night but I
HATE HATE HATE MOSQUITOES!
So I'm blue I couldn't sub but I'm working on my booth for the
University District Street Fair in May.
It's going to be tough making my cheap-looking garden canopy
look like a cool tent, but I'm up for it.
If I could make the Starship Enterprise and a space shuttle from
refrigerator boxes and ice-cream tubs and mylar table-clothing,
I should be able to make my sow's ear into a silk purse.
Have a nice day Mr. Blog and thanks for listening.

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